Gift baskets are soooo last year! Or is it last decade? Actually, I hope the correct response is neither. (Lock it in; that’s my final answer.) You see, I make my living by selling gift baskets (among other food gifts). Granted, it may be less significant that solving the global warming problem or removing a pesky mouse from under your kitchen cabinet, but it’s an honest way to pay for the roof over my family’s head.
I know what you’re thinking: “All of his gift problems are solved; he just gives the same boring baskets year after year to everyone.” I want to disabuse you of your smug attitude! In fact, I face the same dilemmas that you face during any gift giving, decision making crisis.
I don’t give only baskets of joy to my loved ones. However, even if I did, the choice would still not be easy. My company alone offers scores of fruit baskets, wine gift baskets, gourmet food options and far more. (I know what you’re thinking right now, “Please, oh please, just tell me where this wonderful paradise is located so that I can go there to buy your most expensive offerings for everyone on my gift list!” Please be patient.
Before you coerce me into giving away my store location, I want to share my own decision making strategy with you.
First, I decide on an appropriate category of gift. If Uncle Milton has his drinking problem under control for the first time in ten years, then the wine gift baskets are out of the running. Instead, I’ll opt for a gourmet fruit basket with something seasonal. After years of ignoring the nutritional value of what he consumed, he could use a few extra servings of fruit in solid form.
Aunt Millie, on the other hand, is a great wine sipper. Frankly, I don’t know if she really enjoys the wine, but she sure enjoys talking about it. She loves to let everyone know the best vintage years, the kinds of grapes that are used in various blends and, most of all, how much she spent on the wine you just spilled all over her new carpeting ($95 a square yard). She’ll get a simple wine gift basket, but I’m not going to spring for the champagne! (I’m also not going to pay for the carpet cleaning; not after what that cat of hers did to my new coat.)
My nephew, Alfred, recently married his long time girlfriend. Frankly, it’s about time. It took him eight years to decide that she was worth parting with enough money to pay for a diamond and another five when he found out that it is customary to pay the minister who performs the ceremony. What he wants is a check. Well, he’s not getting that from me. I’m sending them a chef-prepared gourmet meal for two. I figure it’s the only way to get that cheap guy’s new bride out of the kitchen for an evening. (They honeymooned by visiting me!)
Second, I decide how much I’m willing to spend on these losers.
My grandson is getting the latest video game system and whatever else he wants. Let’s face it; he is truly special. I’d get him a sports car if you would visit my store and buy a lot more gift baskets! Come on, do your part. He really wants one. Please?
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